When Networking Feels Like a Chore: An Introvert’s Survival Guide to Conferences
Some people are natural networkers. Others want to curl up into a ball at the sheer thought of sales talk and small talk. If you’re the latter, you’re not alone.
Do you dread having to “sell” yourself at a conference? Does conversation feel forced, or are you just plain shy? This blog is my survival guide: real lessons from an introvert on what to say (and what to skip), plus how to lean into your own strengths to network naturally.
I’ve been going to conferences for the last four years. I remember my first one like it was yesterday: I was all alone in a foreign country, filling in for colleagues who had missed their flight. I had just started this job three weeks earlier and felt like a fish out of water. So honestly, that first day, I didn’t say a single word to anyone. Instead, I sat in on every talk that even remotely piqued my interest, doing my best to capture moments for our social media. I’m glad I did—because it helped me immerse myself in this new field I’d end up spending the next four years in.
Tip 1: Start Slow
It’s okay to spend the first moments of a conference getting your bearings and soaking in the scene.
Give yourself permission to start slow. Use the beginning of a conference to get your bearings and understand your audience. Observation is networking, too.
Tip 2: Prep With Intention
Half of networking happens before you even open your mouth. It’s about knowing what to say and who to say it to.
If your main concern (and probably why you clicked on an article about surviving conferences as an INTROVERT) is that you’re so painfully shy your mother had to rip you off her arm on the first day of kindergarten—then this strategy will help. Decide your preferred method: flash cards, a little notebook, the notes app on your phone. Whatever works.
Make two lists:
People you want to speak with
Your intention for each conversation
This will help you to feel less “random” and more prepared.
Here’s the caveat, though: intention setting can feel scripted unless you layer on Tip #3, which may be the most important one… set and setting.
Tip 3: Read the Room
Networking is about timing. Analyze where you are. The middle of a dance floor? Probably not the best place to pitch someone. Hovering silently at a booth like you’re waiting for an autograph?Awkward.
Better moves:
Make eye contact and smile
Browse booth materials while waiting
Spark a quick icebreaker with someone nearby (“Love your shoes!” works wonders)
Tip 4: Mastering Small Talk (Without Cringing)
More often than not, compliments are the perfect entry point. You make someone feel seen and can unlock personal stories that lead to meaningful conversations.
Don’t force it—just find something genuine to notice, whether it’s a cool pair of shoes, a great laugh, or a sweet t-shirt from Database Tycoon. 😉
Final Thoughts
Conferences don’t have to feel like torture chambers for introverts. You don’t need to morph into the loudest person in the room or collect 100 business cards to succeed. If you give yourself permission to observe first, prep with intention, read the room, and lean on genuine (if slightly strategic) small talk, you’ll find that networking can actually feel natural. Maybe even enjoyable.
And hey—if all else fails, there’s always the dance floor.
If you’ll be at Coalesce this month and want to meet up, send me a message on LinkedIn or join the Database Tycoon team at the Data Renegades Happy Hour!